Santi’s Pizza’s Aggressively Lacklustre Dough & Service left a bad taste
I’m not usually one to put restaurants on blast — I’d give constructive feedback and will leave satisfied if they’re receptive. However, Santi’s Pizza was an extreme outlier in that regard and my frustration has to be channelled somewhere.
Here’s the background: Santi’s Pizza is a hyped new pizza joint at Telok Ayer opened by a popular veteran cafe, garnering a lot of positive reception.
As a pizza lover, it was right up my alley. I’m always up for another artisan sourdough pizzeria in Singapore — their ilk is where I’ve had the best pizzas in Singapore so far.
Alas, my expectations were driven mistakenly high from the fanfare and watching the imposing oven blanketing the pizza with a fiery red glow. You couldn’t possibly tame my expectations for Santi’s Pizza with all these elements in play.
UnAcceptable Quality Control
Despite all of Santi’s Pizza’s glowing reviews, I regret to say this might be one of the worst restaurants in Singapore I’ve had the misfortune of visiting. It seems consistency is something out of their grasp.
I am usually forgiving of a chef’s skill ceiling, as long as they are receptive to constructive criticism. Suffice to say, the kitchen staff here were unfazed by my feedback.
Initially, I ordered the Baby Don’t Herd Me ($30) since I love the sensual gamey whispers that only well-cooked lamb can provide. But Santi’s Pizza gave me a massive surprise — not in a good way.
The gamey whispers weren’t whispers but instead hit as rampaging whiffs of odour, for reasons unknown. Granted that lamb could prove a tricky protein, but this disastrous attempt was practically amateur hour, where the meat was still calling out for Mary on the plate.
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I agreed to a swap after I passed on my grievances to the front of the house. It can only improve from here, right? Wrong. Dead Wrong.
All downhill from there
Let’s forgive the fact that the Piña-Piña ($27) they suggested was a spin on Hawaiian pizza. I don’t identify as a purist, even if I do find the majority of them rather uninspiring. Santi’s Pizza’s problem wasn’t the Hawaiian toppings — far from it.
Their sin was much more unforgivable — the dough texture was abhorrent, to the point of embarrassment, for a supposedly “artisan” pizza parlour serving pizzas at almost $30 a pop.
In the name of absolute candour, I think Pizza Hut’s thick mounds of grease had more redeeming qualities than Santi’s Pizzas vile, misguided attempts at pizza dough. Qualities you’d expect from good pizza dough — enjoyable crisp, airy insides, and possibly a gentle chew — were all mysteriously spirited away at the hands of the cooks.
Just a cursory glance at the dough would leave you bewildered. Santi’s Pizza somehow managed to craft a dough that was disconcertingly flat, dense and doughy, all while sporting just the feeblest of crunches. It didn’t even resemble pizza dough anymore.
I felt it bore a closer resemblance, absurdly, to the dry slabs of trite “Hawaiian pizza bread” you’d find at any neighbourhood bakery.
While I can understand not voiding the item or even giving discounts, I’m flabbergasted at how Santi’s Pizza’s kitchen staff just nonchalantly and half-heartedly noted down my, honestly rather tame, criticisms from the front of the house. Not even a short visit to my table to understand more even while the dinner crowd was still small.
Similarly, the Front of House attempted little service recovery or helping to link up with the kitchen, beyond the original replacement. While it’s quite the task to draw out my inner Karen, Santi’s Pizza has somehow managed it with aggressively mediocre service and food that’s simply an affront to my taste buds.
Santi’s Pizza
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- Address: 138 Telok Ayer St, Singapore 068603
- Hours: (Mon–Fri) 11am–10pm, (Sat) 5pm–11pm
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